You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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