Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
