what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
