I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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