I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
