It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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