My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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