Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
