I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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