it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
