I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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