Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize