It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
