So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
