Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
