I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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