Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
