So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Randomize
