i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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