it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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