Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
