She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
