there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
