what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize