Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im holly from the hills drunk
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
