I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize