I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
