Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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