today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
