She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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