Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
