I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
