Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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