I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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