does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
