The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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