You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
