I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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