I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
