just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
