i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
