it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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