If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
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I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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