K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
