I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
