I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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