hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize