I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I think people are normalizing furries
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
