so that wasnt chicken after all
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
