i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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