Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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