My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize