Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
