I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
