I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
