you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
