I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
