but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
