ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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