aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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