A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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