I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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