I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
