So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
