the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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