I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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