I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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