That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
