so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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