They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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